A PowerPoint … About Why PowerPoints Are So Bad

This PowerPoint presentation really speaks for itself. And that is EXACTLY what you don’t want to do if you’re trying to engage with your audience in any meaningful way. The slideshow was directed at professors, but anyone can benefit. Well, anyone who uses PPT. My favorite tip: If your audience can understand everything they need […]

C’mon, Evil Phishing Guy, You’re Better Than This!

I’m embarrassed to say I haven’t blogged for about four months. I’d like to claim I have a good excuse, like I was writing wildly successful emails for the Obama campaign or fomenting revolution somewhere in South America (does anyone ever foment anything but revolution?). Sadly, those would be lies. I was just lazy. But […]

“Want Me to Bring Some Homemade Humans to Your Party?” … “Huh?” … “I mean HUMMUS.” (Damn You, Autocorrect!)

“Your mom and I are going to divorce next month.” Her father had meant to type “Disney” and quickly corrected his mistake. But poor Hannah was shaken. Another victim of autocorrect. In a recent New York Times article, Ben Zimmer writes about the often humorous (embarrassing, socially devastating) results of autocorrect. Wondering how autocorrect works? […]

Stop Being Lazy. And While You’re at It, Stick This Police Light on Your Head.

I’ve written before about online ads that confuse and/or scare me. It’s time for an update on this topic. Since writing that post over two years ago, online ads haven’t gotten any less weird. Case in point: While checking out a minor league baseball team’s schedule, I saw two ads bookmarking the month of August. […]

Okay, Misguided Client, It’s Your Funeral

“First, do no harm,” is a phrase commonly associated with a physician’s commitment to the patient. Copywriters, too, should stick by this rule. So here’s an ethical dilemma for you: As a copywriter, what do you do when a client requests or, worse yet, insists that you do something not in her interest? Here’s a […]

Hey, Moms! Are You Looking for the Perfect Father’s Day Gift for Your Husband’s Gay Lover?

The week before Father’s Day, I was flipping through the New York Times “Sunday Styles” section and came across this ad. It was for a department store I hadn’t heard of, and the caption was something like, “Hey Moms — give Dad what he really wants this Father’s Day.” What? To spend time with his […]

How Not to Sound Like a Jerk on Your Company Website

At The Hired Pens, a good chunk of our work comes from design, interactive and advertising agencies. They call on us when their internal team can’t handle a project due to scope or subject. Or they don’t actually have copywriters on staff, so we serve as their go-to copywriting agency. We’re happy to oblige. And […]

Why Did Pandora Sign Up ESPN Football Analyst Mel Kiper, Jr. as a Celebrity Endorser Anyway?

If you care at all about the NFL Draft, then you know Mel Kiper, Jr. If you don’t care at all about the NFL Draft, here’s all you have to know about Mel Kiper, Jr.: 1) He’s probably the world’s most famous expert on the NFL Draft. 2) He’s almost equally well-known for his freakish, […]

Anatomically Considered Placement?

At The Hired Pens, we write a lot of catalog copy — for PUMA, Zappos, Hasbro, Stride Rite, Timberland … the list goes on.  So to stay up on things, I always read new catalogs that arrive in the mail. The one that landed today has a really cool name: Sweaty Betty. It’s filled with […]

The Hired Pens: We Write with Our Fingers

Dear Citgo, I walk by your billboard, “Citgo is Good Gas,” several times a week and keep meaning to ask you about it. Maybe I’m in the minority here, but I’ve never considered whether or not one brand of gasoline is of a higher quality than another brand. In advertising speak, “quality” isn’t a point […]